I’ve lost 28 pounds. And now I’m stopping, on purpose, before my goal. Most people would be ecstatic at 28 pounds and finding the path to reach their ultimate weight loss goal and do anything to keep it up while it’s working. Well, it’s not […]
Month: October 2017
This week I walked into a store, picked up a size 14, tried them on, loved them, and bought them.
In fact, to back up, I went out of town for a day trip for work—wearing pants I wasn’t fond of—and bought and put on these new pants. I rocked new pants to my meetings all day. It felt tremendous. It felt like winning; weightless success big time.
Yes – I wore new pants I had just bought mid-day in a different city to important meetings all day. Yes, I rolled my old pants and shoved them into my bag. Yes, I even then threw the old pants away later in the day—good riddance.
I’m not sure when I was last a size 14, but the pants I initially had on were unpleasant and unflattering. That can happen in ANY size. But now that I’ve lost weight and my size 16s are so baggy they look ridiculous it was time to unbury the size 14s in my closet. The choices in my closet were few and not pretty, mostly old and fairly ratty.
Here’s the thing: I learned a long time ago — looking at guy’s clothing — that I really don’t need a lot of clothes. Men wear the SAME thing to work every day. And it’s totally OK! Rather than be jealous or chiding, I applaud them for their sensibility and seek to emulate their practicality. Not by wearing Dockers and a blue shirt every day, but by having a core set of ~3 great outfits. (I think trendy people in cities do this too, because they have limited closet space. And those cool people with Tiny Houses. They focus on what’s important.)
Buying lots of clothes isn’t important to me and doesn’t make me happy. That’s not who I am.
But gosh darn it, being happy in the clothes I DO have? That IS important.
And what’s most amazing about this whole experience is that I had every confidence (having lost 20+ lbs!) that I was at a place where I could buy something in a regular store (Ann Taylor) in a regular size (albeit the largest one they carried…). It was so satisfying!
So I’m gonna keep on keeping on with my weight loss journey and rocking Weight Watchers. I may never get below a size 14, even if I lose another 10 lbs, and that’s OK.
It might only be pants – a pants victory – but it’s not really about the pants, is it? The pants are just one part of this journey.
How about you? What are you learning on your journey?
For those of you in the know you know that my sister and I are both over 40 (ok, I’m over 50) and we both have over 40 pounds to lose. We co-author this weight loss blog and co-host our podcast to document our weight loss success. Originally it was for our future selves… and over the last few weeks it became apparent that we are not alone. There are oodles or women… losing it over 40.
I love a roadtrip and I realize that we all pack differently when we’re going away. I have fond memories of my family all piled in the station wagon driving to our summer home 8 hours away. I remember being a teenager packing nearly everything I owned for those vacations. It didn’t matter how long… everything went.
One summer my grandma and grandpa pulled up to our summer home on their motorcycle. They were on a cross country trip and my grandma had only a small bag with all her stuff.
I remember being amazed that they traveled so light. Let me tell you about my grandmother, she was (in a word) glamorous. I mean my grandma was always “put together”, beautiful well dressed and always “done up”. One evening playing cards I asked her how she did it. She explained, “I only pack for 3 days, because no matter where we go there is always a washing machine.”
I had forgotten about that conversation until today. It is sage advice for life.
Never pack more than you can carry.
Turning Failure into Success
Sticking with the road trip metaphor, life isn’t always as easy as picking a destination on the map and driving there.
No sometimes, Life is like a vaudeville act. You get in the clown car, while juggling 6 balls, while singing 3 part harmony (all by yourself)… constantly opening and closing doors … all the while the audience watches and you do everything you can to avoid the hecklers…. or worse… the silence of crickets. And the baggage… don’t get me started on the baggage.
I fail all the time. I accept that as part of my learning process. It’s how I determine what works for me, and what doesn’t.
The trick for me is to be prepared to learn from failure. To recognize how I set the stage for the vaudeville act, rather then the nice quiet drive upstate. It’s about taking my life off auto-pilot and taking back control. It’s about my decision to pay attention.
For instance, I am done kidding myself about sweets. You know I actually used to say I don’t have a sweet tooth. Mostly because I don’t crave sweets. AND that’s true, another truth is, that if there are sweets and I start eating them, I can’t stop.
I know this because of failure.
I know this because I remember eating 1 cookie… then another, then another, then another.
I know this because I could take a fork to a coconut cream pie and just keep eating…
I know this because I can eat until something is gone.
The stories I use to disguise the excuses
It’s not just habits of eating, it’s habits of thinking. I realized there’s all kinds of baggage packed into this journey.
For instance, I noticed that when I think about how much I weight I always add: but I’m also tall, to the end of the thought. Yes, I literally think that in my head.
Guess what, doesn’t matter how tall I am… 230 pounds is 230 pounds. I’m over 50, it’s hard on my knees, it’s hard on my hips. I can’t bend over to my stomach to get to my shoelaces. It’s not just weight, it’s health and wellness. So, while I am tall… I don’t need to be 230 pounds.
Then there are all of the ways I tell myself about what I deserve to eat or drink. If you’re following our podcast then you know when I started this journey, I was literally drinking 1/2 gallon of half an half in my coffee every week. A HALF GALLON! I know. It’s crazy what we tell ourselves we deserve.
Guess what I deserve more than a half gallon of half and half? I deserve to enjoy life and be active and vibrant. I want to have the energy for adventures when my kids are grown and out of the house.
Success is very motivating
I remember, Annie was losing weight. We were talking and she was telling me how much weight she had lost, and I really wanted to experience that too. We decided to start this blog and our podcast, but I still wasn’t ready to change much, I still wasn’t ready to take complete control, so I picked up a book called The Metabolism Plan. (side note: I strongly suggest this book for the information it provides about inflammation and especially how we eat that causes chronic inflammation) and I had lost maybe a few ounces but I kept going back and forth, it was frustrating and I felt like I only had a general direction, but I needed more guidance.
Meanwhile Annie was reporting success week after week. I decided to give Weight Watchers a try.
I expected the online plan to be very similar to MyFitnessPal, because it was just an app… but it wasn’t.
There’s something different that happens in my brain when I see my 32 points for the day… as opposed to the 1200 calories that My Fitness Pal would offer.
32 points. ONLY 32 points. I needed to be very careful with my points.
This felt like a road map, and because Annie was experiencing success… it felt like the road map to success. And it is.
I just want to say… that if you’re struggling to lose weight, consider the baggage you’ve packed for the trip, consider the map you’re using and the destination you’ve selected.
Understand that you will certainly continue to get what you are getting by doing the same thing you are doing… change one little thing… and you can change your life!
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For those of you that don’t know (or haven’t guessed) I’m an “idea junkie”. I absolutely adore thinking about what’s possible, seeing someone’s success and thinking, “How can I do that?” You see, success is very motivating. To be honest, I probably wouldn’t have started […]
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Still only 10 pounds down. Actually, slightly wavering at losing some ground, and I blame the Nutella.
2 Tablespoons of Nutella = 10 points
Conclusion? Nutella is evil.
Remember my previous rant about “I’m savory not sweet!” Well… I had forgotten all about my addiction to sweet… or perhaps I was lulled into a full sense of security by my 10 pound weight loss.
I had forgotten that I have a sweet switch and when it’s turned on I struggle to wrestle myself into submission. And it’s really submission, it’s a fight… a fight that I lost, this week.
Monday is “lunch for the office day”. This Monday it was pizza and like a good girl I recorded the points (leaning towards over estimation) of the Thai Chili Chicken Pizza slice that I ate. It was delicious, it was spicy and filling. BUT… there was a dessert pie. If you haven’t heard of a dessert pie, let me describe it to you… Pizza crust, slathered with Nutella, topped with Strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, bananas and drizzled with vanilla icing.
This dessert pie vies for first place with rice crispies in the top spot for my own personal kryptonite.
The fact is, I KNOW I’m not strong enough to resist. And yet… I am pulled into the swirling vortex of my addiction to sweet deliciousness.
My sister Annie talks about her sustainable lifestyle. She talks about her end result and wanting to create a new “normal”. The way she wants to life while sustaining a healthy lifestyle and weight with the freedom to… live.
I just want to lose the weight, to feel lighter, have more energy and manage my weight as I age so that my body can deal with the aging processes more easily… I feel like the whole “sustainability” will need to kick in when I get closer to my goal.
However, I clearly can’t be trusted to make good decisions, at least not when the shelves filled with halloween candy advertising their sweet allure. AND the dessert pizza, completely blindsided me…
I don’t know about you, but I sit at my desk for up to 8 hours a day. (well, not exactly sit, my desk also pops up so I can stand) but still… it’s 8 hours of constant, thinking, answering phones, interruptions, having people make their problem or issue more urgent and more important than anything else in my life.
Today… I’m bringing sneakers.
Today… I am going to schedule my food. Breakfast, snack, lunch snack leave for home and dinner…. and I’m going to sprinkle in 2 -10 minute breaks.
Today… I’m going to re-invest myself into my weight loss… and get back on track. It’s Wednesday. I have 5 full days to make up for the NUTELLA DEBACLE as I call it in my head.
What are some of your struggles? What are YOUR Kryptonite foods? Comment below.